In every relationship, we will experience the initial highs or the honeymoon phase. In fairy tales, they have the happily ever after. In the real world, there is what we call settling as well as being realistic. So what is the difference? And, which one do you have?
Being Realistic Isn’t The Same As Settling
It is actually quite easy to tell the difference if you are being realistic in a relationship or just plain settling. The differences are very stark as night and day:
You are settling when you are loving the other person for their potential to change more than accepting what your partner has right now and celebrating them. You may ask for simple behavior modifications to make your life together more pleasing, but don’t expect the other person to undergo a major personality or life goal overhaul for you.
A healthy relationship has mutual respect, even if you have differing views over certain things. Your opinions and choices matter to your partner and you are both equals in the relationship. Settling happens when your partner belittles you and does not value your thoughts or even your dreams. You also find yourself being undervalued most of the time.
You should have a healthy sense of security and peace in your relationship. You are not on the edge or frequently feel anxious because of the mixed signals that your partner is sending you.
It cannot be denied that if you are in a good relationship, you will have consistently good interactions with your partner. Your good times are not intermittent where you are wishing that you would also be happy together like you were in the past. No matter how long you’ve been dating, you’ll have those positive interactions often.
Ability To Compromise
Your partner is very considerate towards your needs and makes adjustments to cater to you. He or she does not disregard them like you have no value at all. Things may not happen immediately, but in a healthy relationship, a good partner will be consistent in the efforts to make things happen for the relationship to blossom.
Being realistic means that you keep a certain level-headedness in your relationship. Settling, on the other hand, makes you long for circumstances to be better. Whether you’ve met your partner on a dating app or through online dating, it’s a must for you to see things clearly. For more tips on relationships, visit our blog.