The dating culture in the Philippines differs greatly from western dating in such a way that the Filipino way tends to be more subtle and indirect. Traditionally, courtship is a long and tedious process where a man first asks permission from the parents to court a woman. Only then can the actual courtship take place with several quaint customs usually in play. Though, with the modern times finally catching up with the Filipino culture, these customs tend to fade away slowly as the Filipino culture slowly modernizes and becomes more patterned to western practices. Though, these traditional Filipino dating customs tend to be quite special and knowing about them gives one a great edge with their chances with a Filipina lady.

Parental Consent

In the old days, parental consent is key for your to start courting a Filipina lady. This is imperative to any suitor and does not really rely on age. As long as a Filipina is unmarried, she lives with her parents and as a respectful suitor, you are expected to ask permission prior to courting her. Although this no longer is strictly observed, it is still best to ask her parents’ approval prior to dating a Filipina lady. Hint: This will score you “pogi” points (a fictitious scale that can be roughly considered as good impressions) with her family.

Chaperones and curfews

Very much like parental consent, it does not matter if the lady is of age. As long as she lives under her parents’ roof, she is obligated to adhere to rules set by them. This is particularly true of curfews but as for chaperones, in modern times, they are usually dispatched only for minors. As for curfews, it is considered polite to get your date home before 10 pm as a lady should not be out beyond that time for her safety as well. Although, with the growing modern times, it is no longer strictly enforced especially to women who are above 21. But this will surely earn the respect of the parents since you take it upon yourself to treat their daughter like a true Filipina lady.

The “Harana” or Serenade

In the olden days, men would visit the lady he wishes to court at her home in the early evening where he would start singing love songs. He does not enter the house itself and stays outside her window where he serenades her to beautiful love songs with a guitar accompaniment either played himself or by one of his friends. This used to be a beautiful practice that tends to soften a woman’s heart towards her suitor. Despite no longer being practiced, this can still be done in the modern day setting by setting up a performer to sing her ballads and love songs while you have dinner at a nice and quiet restaurant. Word of advice, try to learn what her favourite songs are so that you can make arrangements with the singer, or, if you have the talent yourself, you can sing them to her personally with a hired guitar player.

The “Paninilbihan” or Servitude

In some regions of the Philippines, when a suitor courts his beloved, there is a practice called paninilbihan or servitude. This is where the man “serves” in his beloved’s home doing chores like chopping wood, caring for the livestock, fetching water and other labor-intensive chores. This is to show his sincerity in his intentions for the lady and usually happens about a year before the man intends to wed the woman. This is also viewed as a substitute to paying dowry. This has long been discontinued though as more and more Filipinos are adapting the westernized culture.