When you are already a couple, most people feel like you have to do everything together. Others have the notion that you like all the same things, all the same food, and all the same movies. To some degree, that would be true but to totally say that it’s 100% accurate wouldn’t be factual nor would it result in a better relationship.
Why Being 100% The Same Won’t Result In A Better Relationship
It’s a misconception that if you are 100% the same with your partner, everything will be smooth sailing. Not having your own individual personalities or trying hard to integrate with the other will make your relationship flatline. Likely, there wouldn’t be a lot of conflicts, but there also wouldn’t be any challenges that could make the relationship stronger. Everything would just be plain and simple, and that could get boring fast!
Instead of trying to merge with your partner, the healthier approach would be to be your own selves. Maintaining your individuality and a degree of independence is ideal for the following reasons:
1. It’s definitely not boring.
Having your own life outside of your relationship allows you to broaden your horizons. It’s good that you want to feel like your partner is everything but your world shouldn’t revolve around just one person.
2. There’s more to talk about.
When you have other things going on in your life, they can easily be conversation topics that you can share with your partner. If you’re just focused on the other person, there’s just so much that you can talk about.
3. Doing your own thing makes you feel more secure.
Think about it. If you’re just focused on your relationship or on your partner, one small argument can make you feel like your whole world is falling apart.
4. Research says it reduces stress.
According to this study, self-complexity reduces symptoms of stress and depression. This means that it is physically and mentally healthy for you to be your own self even when you are in a relationship.
Don’t get us wrong. We are not saying that you need to break things off. What we are suggesting that it is ok for you and your partner to focus and work on yourselves while you are together. Definitely, it will result in a better relationship that might last a lifetime. For more tips, read other posts on our blog.