Relationships are complicated things. From their start to their (unfortunate) end, they confuse us, make us wonder if we’re doing things right, and they often cause us a great deal of insecurity about the way we’re handling them. This is why we seek advice wherever it may be available – frequently falling victims to some of the worst relationship advice there is. Relationship experts offer insight into the reasons these pieces of advice are actually bad for you.
How Much Of The Worst Relationship Advice Have You Been Following?
The worst thing about the pieces of advice characterized by experts as bad for you is that they sound perfectly logical. But this is what the experts had to say about each of them.
Happy couples don’t have arguments.
Andrea Syrtash, a relationship expert and the author of “He’s Just Not Your Type (And That’s a Good Thing)“ says of this piece of advice: “It’s not that you fight, but how you fight that determines the health and happiness of a relationship. If you never fight or disagree with your partner, one of you may be harboring resentments.”
So, it’s ok to fight, you just need to know the way to do it right (as we’ve mentioned before).
The only kind of real romantic love is love at first sight.
“Some people fall in love at first sight. Others sit next to the same person at the office for years and feel nothing — until, one day, they do. The advice I’d give people is to really learn to listen to themselves.
And if an answer isn’t immediately apparent, check in with your body. I once heard a yoga instructor say that your head can lie to you, but your body never will. I’ve found that to invariably true and useful in all areas of life — especially relationships” said Ellen McCarthy, Washington Post reporter and the author of “The Real Thing“.
Some people fall in love at first sight, but if you have developed feelings for your best friend, it is still real and it may even be the foundation of a stronger kind of relationship.
Online stalking will prevent your involvement with the wrong kind of person.
Having access to a person’s social media accounts or e-mail may seem like a quick and reliable way to check up on them constantly, but at what cost for your relationship?
Dating coach Emyli Lovz says on the matter: “First off, if someone gives you this advice, take a look at the quality of that person’s relationship before you follow in their footsteps.
If you cannot trust your partner, then you’ve already chosen the wrong one. The bigger question is why you are attracted to a person whom you do not trust. Put simply, snooping destroys trust, which is the foundation of a healthy relationship.”
Honesty is always the best policy.
We don’t mean to advocate being a liar, but there is a fine line between being sincere and being insensitive. There are certain truths you should tell, and others that are completely useless; harmful even.
According to Joseph Burgo, psychotherapist and author of “The Narcissist You Know“: “There’s also a difference between major deception and the ‘white lies’ everyone tells to spare another person’s feelings.
Speaking a truth that needlessly wounds your partner’s self-esteem will only make them defensive or provoke them to say something unkind in return. Sometimes it’s better to be tactful than completely honest.”
We hope we set the record straight about these seemingly wise tips that really constitute the worst relationship advice you can follow. The best thing a person can do to make sure they are not being misled is to follow the words of experts.
*You can read the original article that inspired us to write this here.