In the Korean dating culture, the term “dating” doesn’t mean what you think it means. Essentially, casual dating isn’t really present in the Korean culture because the dynamics of how two people get together are totally different. This is why, if you’re planning to date Korean girls, you have to understand the basics of these dynamics. And, this is exactly what the post is about – the basics. To clue you in on what the Korean dating culture is like, here’s a short list of insights into it:
Dates are Mostly Set Up by Friends
It’s very rare that you see a Korean guy approach a random Korean girl in order to say hi or ask her out. The way two people go on dates is through their friends or colleagues. This is the Korean dating culture – it operates in circles and networks of people. A friend of a friend, a friend of a colleague or even a mother’s friend’s son can be a bridge to asking someone out on a date. Blind dates set up by friends and family are also common.
You’re IT Most of the Time
It’s a kind of unspoken rule. During, the first few months or, perhaps, the first year of the relationship, it is mandatory for the male to show his gentlemanliness and capacity to provide by paying for most things. This is on the exception of special dates and anniversaries where the female might buy gifts for the male to commemorate a special day.
Parents Have the Last Say
Korean parents always have their children’s interest in mind. This is why they feel obligated to choose what is best for their child. Let’s include choosing a spouse in the picture. If a Korean parent doesn’t approve of you, your Korean partner will take it into serious consideration.
The Tug of War Concept
In the Korean dating culture, there is what’s called “mildang”. It literally translates to push and pull and usually occurs in Korean relationships. You don’t necessarily have to do it, but it’s a great piece of information, so you know what your next step is. Here’s an example: a guy likes a girl, he gets her number and texts her non-stop after a date, after days or weeks, silence from the guy. That’s”mildang”. It’s like push and pull of a girl and a guy’s interest in the relationship.
Rank in Society
Again, rank doesn’t mean what you think it means in Korean society. It’s not about wealth, but it’s more on age. A younger person has always to show respect to an older one (even if the difference is only a few years). This is shown through honorific addresses and specific actions when with an older person. For example, a younger lady would call an older lad “oppa”; a younger lady would call an older lady, “unni”. It goes on. Because of this, an older person might find it hard to “date” a younger one.
Tradition is Major
Koreans are big on tradition. This means that you would have to take note of certain special days in the Korean calendar. Not only that, but, you would have to take note of certain marks in the relationship. For example, the first 100 days of a couple is an important day. Consider it an anniversary.
Open to Intimacy
When it comes to intimacy, you can expect that not everyone is talking about it. This doesn’t mean, however, that everybody is NOT doing it. It’s just kept on the down low. You have to be careful, though, because being intimate with someone is a sign that you’re serious about the person. In other words, intimacy is not taken lightly.
The article “7 Insights into the Korean Dating Culture” can be viewed as PDF here.