An older foreign man in a relationship with a younger Chinese woman – so what’s new? The subject of age gaps never grows old (no pun intended). We still see it today: a Chinese woman and a foreigner with almost 10 or so years apart in age. Is it common to see these kinds of relationships nowadays? Yes, very common but if you have your own worries about this, you need to read these tips:
Age Gap Tip #1: Don’t Sweat It
Like what was said earlier, it’s something that’s very common in China, especially when a Chinese woman is with a foreign man. There are even instances where the age gap is greater than 15 years. You’re not the only foreigner whose heart has been captivated by a younger Chinese woman. What can you say, they are attractive, right?
Age Gap Tip #2: There Will Be Differences
If you want to enter into this kind of relationship, please remember that you need to accept the fact that there will be differences in your outlook, in your maturity level, in the way you act, in your interests, and, not to mention, in energy level. The list goes on. Your ideas of fun may be different as well as your spending habits. It’s endless, but the differences are expected because you’re at different stages in life. Is this a problem? No IF the both of you work your way through it. Not just one, the both of you.
Age Gap Tip #3: Think Things Through
Young love is very passionate and explosive. It’s true in the departments of love-making and fighting. No worries if you get carried away spending time with each other, but you have to take it easy with the second one. When you’re with someone who’s impulsive and immature, you also have the tendency to be similar – adopting the attitude, in a way. As the mature one in the relationship, you have to know how to handle things and always have one goal in mind when you’re fighting: think things through before doing anything rash. Here’s a good tip: ask yourself this question, “How can I handle this in a way that both of us can learn from our mistakes and improve our relationship?”. This is especially true when you’re with 20-year old Chinese ladies.
Age Gap Tip #4: You’re Not Supposed to Mold Her
Usually, foreign men who date younger Chinese women feel obligated to mold her into someone ideal. Don’t deny it because it’s true. This, however, is an idea that you should forget because life happens. You can only control who you become, but you can’t really do that for others. Let your Chinese girlfriend have her own life and let her be her own woman.
Age Gap Tip #5: Know When it’s Not for You
There are only a few men who really think things through when it comes to relationships. Of course, it’s a wonderful feeling to just let things happen. It’s more romantic that way but in relationships like this where a Chinese woman and a foreigner have a huge gap in age, you have to think if you’re willing to stretch out your patience, your finances and, basically, your limits. What we want to avoid here is building a relationship that will only end up with something disastrous.
Clarity in Wants
“Who do I want to be with?”, this is the question that you should be asking yourself. You have to know what you want; whether if you want someone who is intellectually equal to you or emotionally equal to you. Consider these and don’t go by how you feel.