Courtship is traditionally defined as the period where a couple develops a romantic relationship with the intent of eventually marrying. In the contemporary context, courtship, or, the more commonly used term, courting, is serious dating with marriage in mind which, may or may not include intimacy. Each country has its unique customs when it comes to dating, and Chinese courtship is no different. Chinese courtship rituals for beautiful Chinese women.

Defining Courtship

Chinese courtship, like much of its other cultural aspects, differs considerably from the Western customs most of us are more acquainted with. Chinese courtship differs from dating in a sense that in most western cultures, dating itself is the avenue for couples to move into a mutually exclusive commitment or the “in a relationship” status. Courtship in the Chinese culture, on the other hand, can mean that a couple is already going “steady” (by Western standards) as soon as courtship takes place.

Courtship for Marriage

Chinese courtship revolves largely around the context of finding a suitable candidate for marriage. Also, despite being very traditional, dating and courtship in China tends to move rather rapidly going from acquaintances to engagement in a span of a few dates; Whereas in western cultures, we are more accustomed to an extended period of relationship before considering going into marriage.

Here is an overview of how courtship usually proceeds in the Chinese culture today:

The Arrangement

First, when a man or a woman is interested in someone, they ask a mutual friend or acquaintance to set up a gathering or a “group date” with a relatively large group. That can mean any activity from lunch, dinner, or a simple get together. In parallel with the Asian concept of saving face, the two prospective parties will not be seated together but rather about two or three seats apart, in case one or the other is not interested. This way, they can interact freely, getting to know the other to see if one is fit for the other’s criteria of a suitable spouse without being subjected to the humiliation of a right out turn down.

The Formal Date

From the group date, the woman then will consent to a formal first date. Now in Chinese courtship customs, this means more than just a simple consensus to a date. If a woman allows you to go on a first date, it means that you have successfully passed the first screening. You are a viable candidate to be her future husband. Then it will escalate rather quickly. On the second date she grants you, she is already open to the very strong possibility of an actual wedding. And on the third date, in the west, this usually means the end dates with you sleeping together, but in China, this is an indicator that both parties are seriously considering a wedding shortly.

Special Notes on Chinese Courtship

Special notes regarding intimacy and courtship in the Chinese culture: If the girl you are dating has consented to sleep with you, be wary and be very clear about your intentions.

In the customs of Chinese courtship, virginity is still valued very highly. In fact, it will be hard for a Chinese girl to find an eligible husband when she has lost her virginity. Intimacy can be compared to earnest money or down payment for your dream house in a sense that when a traditional Chinese girl consents to it, she is proving her seriousness in marrying you. It is supposed to seal the deal to your upcoming nuptials. Intimacy is never taken lightly in Chinese courtship. It is only given to someone you are intended to marry.