Sometimes people decide to part ways, and subsequently stick to their decision. But some other times, after spending some time apart they realize that their life was happier before, so they decide to get back together. But how do you rekindle an old flame, and can you make your relationship better the second time around?
Can You Rekindle An Old Flame And Make Your Old Relationship Good As New?
According to statistics, 50% of failed relationships are given a second chance, but how do you manage to do that, and – perhaps most importantly – how do you make it last this time?
The first thing you need to establish is whether both you and your partner are genuinely interested in getting back together. If so, it is because you are missing each other and feel like you’ve lost a person you truly love or just because it feels more comfortable and less scary being together than having to face life as singletons? Once you make sure it’s the former, you are halfway there.
If you’re the one who takes the initiative to make contact, you should make it in a way that is honest and clear. Tell her you have been thinking about her and that your life with her was much better than without her. Tell her that you recognize your own faults and deficiencies in your relationship and that you’re willing to work on them if she is too.
Addressing The Past
When you decide to give your relationship a new lease on life, you shouldn’t do it by hiding your past mistakes but rather by addressing them. If you want to avoid making them again, you should be ready to talk about them, own them, and make some serious changes to how you used to function.
Think of your relationship as a company that went bankrupt. Would you run your company the same way as before if you took over again? Of course not. Find the more beneficial things about your relationship and reinforce them. Then, find the wrong policies, the communication errors and the ways you misunderstood each other that led to your breakup. And make sure you don’t make them again.
Planning For The Future
Set new goals, if your old ones didn’t feel right. If you just slid into decisions instead of consciously making them, don’t be afraid to open up; voice your concerns and your objections. Don’t fall into the trap of avoiding the issues that you think will cause arguments – the more you avoid them, the worse they will come back to haunt you.
Making a new beginning by deciding to rekindle an old flame is not an easy thing. You will have to rebuild a house that’s previously fallen apart and, in many ways, this can prove harder than building from scratch. However, sometimes our past is worth salvaging, so make sure the second time is worth your while.