You have taken your girlfriend out to a posh restaurant trying to romance her as you wine and dine and you can hardly keep her your eyes on hers because she just needs to check out her Instagram feed every 10 minutes. Or you are supposed to enjoy some R ’n R at home and watch her favorite rom-com but all she does is comment on her friends’ Facebook posts. Does this scenario sound too familiar? If so, you have been phubbed. Asiandate.com tells you what to do about it.
Asiandate.com: This Is How To Deal With Phubbing
A recent study conducted by Deloitte showed that Americans check their phones an average of 46 times a day, which means that mobile phones have become something of a fixation for everyone. It is this exact fixation that has led to a new relationship term: phubbing, to describe this bad habit of preferring to channel our energy into our soulless devices than our significant others. This is how to deal with being phubbed.
Step 1 – Check Your Own Habits
Before you start laying blame, take the time to take an honest look into your own habits and behavior. A good idea is to try and stay away from your phone for a week in favor of engaging in quality time with your partner. Leave your mobile in another room or turn it off completely when you are supposed to spend time with her.
This will give you a clear idea of how much she is ignoring you for her phone, while it should show her you are willing to give social media a rest when you are together. Another thing it will help you realize is whether you are, indeed, OK with not checking out your own mobile phone in her presence, or if you are also too hooked to give it up.
Step 2 – Confront Your Partner
Once you know for sure that she is phubbing you and that you are OK with not doing the same, you should go on and have the talk with her. As with all serious discussions with your partner, the best way to go about it is by explaining how her behavior makes you feel.
Stress how underappreciated you feel when you are trying to discuss something with her and she seems to preoccupied to look you in the eyes and also point out that you have first check yourself and made sure you won’t slip into a similar behavior in future too.
You should mean every word you say, though. Unless you are certain you will keep your word, it’s best to avoid the conversation altogether.
Step 3 – Set Some Ground Rules
The optimal solution to make sure you won’t both slip into the same bad habit of phubbing is to establish some house rules for phone use, such as phone-free zones and certain activities where the use of a mobile phone is strictly forbidden, like when you watch a film or have lunch. Make sure you stick to these rules and only make exceptions when there is a real reason.
It may not seem like a big deal, but the very thing that is supposed to help us bond and keep in touch with our loved ones can be what is causing us pain and tearing us apart by being a constant distraction. At asiandate.com we are sure than once you make this small change, you will be surprised by the improvement in the quality of your relationship and the satisfaction you derive from it.